Bragging Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

Can you believe another year has gone by? It seems like only yesterday I was trying to coerce Samantha to have sex with me in order to save her boyfriend, Lucas.

Wait, I guess that was only yesterday.

My, what an eventful year 2007 has been. My beloved Samantha and I have been blessed with a child this year, our son Johnny. But I’m the first to admit we have had our ups and downs. Ah, the many jokes I played on her during her pregnancy. How we love to tease each other!

The big news in the family is that we laid to rest our vendetta against the Bradys, so this will be the last year you get the Vengeance Update (see attached). The theme of the year was “Bombs.” Happy reading!

We were all very happy to welcome home my brother Tony, after he got out of prison this year. Actually there was a little confusion about that. It turned out Tony was actually Andre, his lookalike cousin, and Tony had been stranded on a desert island for twenty years! Ain’t that a kick in the pants?

And we had some tragedy this year, too, when my little brother Benjy died. Did you forget about Benjy? I know, everyone does! Then just when we were pulling ourselves together from that shocker, Tony, I mean Andre (Heck, this is confusing for me too!) died in the hospital. We think Shawn Brady, sr, did it, but we haven’t talked about that lately.

And when I got shot in the back at my own wedding and ended up in a wheelchair, I thought, the Lord is testing us, he’s surely testing us. But with my wonderful wife by my side—or across the hall—I know I’ll make it through this stronger than ever!

God Bless!
Elvis and Samantha DiMera, and little Johnny

8 thoughts on “Bragging Letter

  1. Best lines: “Ah, the many jokes I played on her during her pregnancy. How we love to tease each other!” Brilliant!

    Also loved the Vengeance Update–you’re right, there sure were A LOT of bombs this year.

  2. HA! Love it! How great would it be if he were to have that conversation with someone? I could easily imagine EJ saying some of those lines to someone unaware of the craziness of Salem life. It reminds me of when KS’ Belle casually mentioned, like it was the most normal thing in the world,that Doug had been married and had a child with Julie’s mother. Chloe gave her this look of utter disgust and changed the subject.

  3. Thanks, everybody!

    I was in a hurry when I wrote this, but I somehow wanted to work in what happened to Lexie too.

    Come to think of it, any Christmas letter from Salem would be quite the eye-opening read. Imagine Shawn and Caroline trying to fit it all in.

  4. I can’t imagine any of the Salem family Christmas letters. Shawn and Caroline’s might be the hardest because it would encompass most of the cast, but imagine Steve and Kayla’s, or Shawn and Belle’s, or even Victor’s. It certainly puts my boring year to shame.

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